I must say that it must have been very hard to be you: Wanting to be with someone else but being to weak to accept and realize that you have to amend your latest mistake. Holding on something that you really don´t know why to maintain.
Denial. Negate it all, no matter how hard and obvious everything can turn. Not even if evidence fall apart right in front of our faces. If you don´t, there will be no way back, but, back to where?.
I´m not impressed at all. Its not the first time that I have to see this kind of behaviour. A long time ago I choose not to feel sorrow for myself, neither feel that my feelings are worth of disrupting my normal life....and you were so close to turn things upside down, but suddenly ended in the same way. At least, I have to admit that is a whole class act not to use terminal diseases as an excuse.
I'm a bit angry, not because I'm the guy in the mirror, prone to be broken and disappear. No. I'm just a bit angry only because if I analyse how close I was, in my desperation, to give you a ring to symbolize that I wanted to be tied with you, it means I was choosing to be blind, and I can´t understand such behaviour, a yin and a yang, a couple of pipe dreams.
True lies, and how unpleasant agony means to me the very end of this charade.
Negate, don´t conspire. There's no one else to be dazzled.
You were better than anyone who filled my heart with love and disappointing like no other, since you were the only one in who I have ever trusted to guide my will.
"I have tried for much of my life to write as if I was composing my sentences to be read posthumously". Christopher Hitchens
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